Three Nasty Dog Stories

1. Teddy doesn't come in from his after-work potty trip. He bounds. Jumping, lurching, anything boisterous. He is overly excited about getting his dinner and can barely (no, he can't) contain himself. Seventy five pounds of hairy enthusiasm. Today, as I was struggling to contain him and also remain upright, he started hacking. Teddy has always had a bit of a hack at times, so I calmly said, "Stop it." in a stern voice and continued to his dinner station. About an hour later, while walking into the kitchen to make my own dinner, I noticed a little bit of puppy urp by the fridge. Gag.

2. Teddy has developed some food allergies. This was only a matter of time given his breed. Some dogs develop hot spots with allergies, others have digestive issues. With Teddy, the biggest problem is his ears. Basically a yeast infection, but in dogs the inside of his ears gets coated with this dark brown scum. The only way to clean it out is the special ear cleaner and a tissue, which is Teddy's least favorite thing in the whole world. Last time, he knew I was after the right ear which is the worst one, so he sat down in front of the screen door and pressed that ear against the glass. Anyway, the gook is really gross and smells...yeasty. Ick.

3. I was leaning over Teddy to put his leash on before our walk. I usually fasten his harness around his middle then give him a hug and some pats on the sides. We left the house and as I was turning my iPod on, I noticed this disgusting booger-y blog on my t-shirt. While hugging Teddy, his eye booger had transferred to my shirt. Ewww.

Just under the wire

I am embarrassed, but not really ashamed, to say that I am 2 days shy of the 2 month mark since my last post. Embarrassed, because I know my fans have been waiting with baited breath for what I am going to say next, and not really surprised because to be honest, all I have to say lately is drivel. Blogging is fun and all, but it is really hard to thing of blog-worthy posts on a regular basis. So, tonight, I give you another list. A list of drivel. Hope you enjoy it!

1. A sub threw up in class today. Not, a sub got sick, ran out of class and threw up but he actually threw up while inside the classroom. Rumor is a little fuzzy about where, whether it was in the sink (likely) or on the floor, but you get the idea. Kids had to be moved to another classroom for the rest of the day, sub went home. I think this has to be one of my biggest rational fears. I say rational because of course I am more afraid of poison darts and quicksand. Farting in public and puking in public are very near the top of my list of potential most horrifying moments. I feel so bad for this poor man because not only is he sick and got sick, he had to do it in front of a room full of eighth graders.

2. I was at the grocery store after school today and the lady in line behind me plunked down a container of ice cream and said, "Safeway has gotten cheap!" Of course I had to look at her ice cream and noticed that the box of ice cream was considerably smaller than the original containers. The clerk said that the price was lower to which the customer responded, "Oh no it isn't. It is still $2.99." The guy behind her commented that it was barely 2 servings of ice cream. At that point I left because to stay would have been weird, but I found the whole exchange very interesting. I understand that companies spend millions and millions of dollars on marketing in an effort to make more profit but it is really insulting how all that this research has determined is that the public is made up of drooling morons. Packaging has gotten smaller, while prices have remained the same. It is as if the public won't notice that they are purchasing less product if the price tag is the same. If gas prices have increased, my electric bill has gone up, and I have to pay more for my morning latte, why would my ice cream be unaffected? Why make the container smaller? I'm not that easily fooled.

3. American Idol, The Biggest Loser and the Bachelor could easily be aired in less than an hour. Can't we come up with some better shows rather than stretching out mediocre shows into an annoying 2-hour segment? Sorry if you are big fans of this show, but lately my attention span is a little too short to tolerate 2 hours of drivel. Which is probably how you are feeling reading this blog...

4. Have you ever eaten something, licked your fingers and said, "Wow. That is the most delicious thing I've ever eaten!" What did it for me this weekend was my breakfast Sunday morning. After church, Bill and I went to the grocery store (I've spent a lot of time there lately) and for breakfast bought bagels from the bakery. At home, after teaching Bill the correct way to slice a bagel without chopping your fingers off*, I toasted my sesame seed bagel, put cream cheese on it and several slices of tomato. I then put it back together, cut it in half and ate every bite, wishing I had another. The only real way to eat a bagel by the way, is to sandwich it together. If you eat it top half/bottom half, you're bound to be disappointed with one of the halves.** This was two days ago and I have been dreaming about that bagel ever since.

*Lay the bagel flat, put your hand on top of it holding your fingers up, and slice the bagel with the knife parallel to the counter.

**I worked in a bagel shop in college. That is why I have so much bagel-knowledge.