Wednesday, September 29, 2010


Camille will be 3 months old on Friday.  Every mom I know says that she can't believe how quickly the time goes by and I won't be the exception to the rule.  Camille has changed so much since we brought her home in July and to look at her now you wouldn't think she is the same baby.  I'm taking her in tomorrow for her echocardiogram, the first she has had since leaving the womb.  I hope that this will be able to tell us right away if Camille has Marfans or not, but I imagine it will be a longer process than that.  I think they have to monitor the changes in her echos over time and we may not have a diagnosis for many years.  What I am planning on teaching Camille early, starting tomorrow, is that going up to OHSU for echos means a treat afterwards.

After the echo we are going to lactation for another appointment.  I am 90% sure that Camille is perfect as usual - gaining weight like the little champion she is - but her eating habits have changed so much in the last couple of weeks that I really want to check to ease my mind.  She seems to finish nursing much faster than ever before (15-20 minutes) and some days nurses every 3 hours (like yesterday) and others ever 4-5 hours.  Mama likes consistency and routines, so this just makes me a little nervous.  Also, she was gaining 10 ounces a week (average is half an ounce to an ounce a day) and I can't believe this rate is going to continue much longer.  My calculations say that she should weigh over 12 pounds.  Gadzooks, that's a big baby!

One thing my sweet baby has learned about her mama is that Mama needs breakfast and coffee in the morning.  Camille has graciously obliged by taking a 20-30 minute nap after she nurses in the morning.  I don't know how long this will last and I never know what the rest of the day will look like, but she is pretty routine with allowing me time to make breakfast and drink one cup of coffee everyday before she wakes up and needs attention.  Sweet girl.

Sunday, September 26, 2010

Señorita Crankypants

I really believe that my little girl is a sweetheart through and through.  She is cuddly and perfect and behaves like an angel in all social situations.  I'm completely in love with her.  But like all normal babies, she has her moments of fussiness and they tend to always fall between 7 and 11pm.  I wish I could figure out what the problem is because she is so sad and sad for me, because this is the time I am the most exhausted.  (You would think the exhaustion would occur at the 2am slot but oddly enough, it doesn't.)  It comes on with no warning (other than we know it will happen each night, I mean she just suddenly is pissed off) and then stops just as suddenly.  As soon as she stops, she falls asleep for what I consider "the night", though she is not sleeping through the entire night.  I would say that she consistently falls asleep at 12:30am.  I've been trying to time her feedings so that she can maximize this sleeping time, but I don't think it is working very well.  Camille ate her last meal of the night last night at roughly 10pm.  She fell asleep at 11:30 and is still sleeping.  (So why are you up, Mindy?  Well, I happen to have one of the worst stomachaches ever so I'm sipping 7Up and waiting for the Pepto to kick in, because that is what I should be doing when my infant daughter is having one of the best stretches of sleep she's ever had, thankyouverymuch.  Grrr...)

Anyway, 6 weeks is supposed to be the peak of her fussiness so I'm hoping this is going to start to fade away and we can then work on longer stretches of sleep at night.  That way I can get some real blogging done while my whole family happily snoozes away in the other room.  Grrr...

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

What the hell does Einstein know?

Einstein said that the definition of insanity was doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. Obviously Einstein was never up at night with an infant because he quickly would have changed his definition to say that insanity is trying to reason with a baby in the middle of the night. Total effing insanity.

It has to be insanity. Only an insane person would sweetly try to convince an obviously hungry baby that accepting the boob placed in her face would make her happier as she is clawing with her baby nails at the same boob with one hand while repeatedly smacking said boob with the other.

Only an insane person would keep trying because she KNOWS the baby is hungry only to have the baby clamp down on the nipple with her little gums, twist her head back and forth (with nipple securely clamped in her mouth) and then scream a muffled scream (because the nipple is still in her mouth).

Insanity must be the explanation for the person who tries to convince this baby that she will feel better if she would just eat as the baby is glaring at that person and then fills her pants up. Insanity is the only thing that makes sense for the person to then say, "Oh, you must feel better! Now you'll want to eat because I know you're hungry!"

It has to be insanity that would lead the person to take the baby to the changing table and sweetly ask the baby to "hold still" in order to avoid getting poop everywhere as the baby, hungry, writhes back and forth wishing she had the nipple back.

It could only be insanity that would lead someone to reason with the baby that now that she is clean, she surely must want to eat. As they try again, baby, instead of taking the boob gratefully rather closes her eyes and takes a little snooze.

Now the insane person takes the baby to the other room to rock her, only to have her wake up and start squawking in a rhythmic fashion every three seconds. Insanely she tries to reason with the baby by bouncing her and shushing in her ear, only to have her continue to protest. At last, the insane person desperately offers the boob one more time, only to have the baby take it happily, munch away, and then promptly fall asleep.

The insane person says, "Wouldn't that have been easier if Baby listened to me in the first place?" Reasonable, non-insane husband would offer this explanation helpfully, "Well, she's just a baby."

Shut up, you. You and your sane, reasonable comments. When you're on the receiving end of a screaming, red-faced, beautiful baby who is clawing at your boobs and beating you on the chest only to poop all over herself, requiring a diaper and pajama change, THEN I might listen to you. When you are doing this on zero sleep, night after night, only then MIGHT I be convinced that a reasonable, sane explanation for this behavior could be that she is "just a baby."

In the meantime, where's my straightjacket?

Yawn, why am I up?

Considering how sleep deprived I am I think it really sucks that I am awake right now.  Baby and husband and dog are all fast asleep and I am wide awake.  I don't understand it!  It isn't just at night, either.  Sunday afternoon I took a picture of my whole family napping.  Everyone in this household but me seems to be able to fall asleep whenever they want.  I should be able to fall asleep as soon as I stop moving but instead I have the perfect opportunity to sleep we are.

So I might as well give you all an update on Camille!  She is almost 12 weeks old (gasp!) which means 6 weeks past her due date.  Unreal, if you ask me!  The book I am reading on sleep says that the peak of fussiness is around 6 weeks and despite what I said above, I would say that is true.  Camille usually is awake in the evening but the last few days she just seems annoyed about it.  It is really hard to settle her after 8pm and it usually passes around midnight.  I think the only consistent thing about her sleeping is that she tends to fall asleep for the night around 12:30.

I think we could start trying to get Camille to sleep in her crib but I really don't want to.  I like having her in our room because if she makes a noise (or doesn't make a noise, let's face it, I'm paranoid) I can check on her fairly easy.  Several friends have said that it wasn't until they moved baby out of their room that he/she started sleeping through the night, but but but.  I'm reluctant.

Camille probably weighs about 10 1/2 pounds based on her growth rate.  She can stretch some of her feedings to 5 hours but there seems to be no rhyme or reason as to why sometimes she eats after 3 and others she goes to 5.  Most of the time it is 4 hours.  Her little legs have rolls and dimples on them and every time I change her diaper I just giggle with delight because it is the cutest thing!

Baby Girl is charming the pants off everyone she sees with smiles and coos.  This new behavior is so delightful and is becoming more frequent.  Today Grannie and Grampa came over to watch Camille while I went to the doctor.  Camille turned on the charm as soon as Grannie picked her up and my mom said to me later that even if she'd cried the whole rest of the time, after that first smile and coo she could pretty much have anything she wanted.  Yup, I think we're all in trouble!

She is also awake a little more and showing interest in what she sees.  She is especially fascinated by lights and often stares at the window or overhead light with amazement.  Sometimes the light even calms her down at a particularly fussy moment.  Odd.

I'm trying to put the books away and just go with the flow as a parent but I'm sure you can figure out how that is going.  I want to everything just perfect and as everyone else seems to understand, that just doesn't work with babies.  I'm sure my daughter will always be my greatest teacher, so I need to quit fighting it and just listen to her.  Old habits are hard to break, I guess!

Friday, September 10, 2010

Nap Watch 2010

Since Camille is officially 4 weeks past her due date, and my maternity leave has officially started, I feel we should start making an attempt at some routine/normalcy with her sleep schedule.  I'm fully aware that she still carves her own path, writes her own book, paves her own way, blah blah blah, but my Type A that I didn't realize was so ridiculously strong is taking over, and we must have order, people!

Ha, ha.  I crack myself up.  My basic desires for Camille's sleep life at this point are twofold.  First, I want to have a consistent bedtime routine that starts at basically the same time each night.  I'm not willing to bathe her every day because she doesn't need it and I don't think it would help her with consistency at this point, but eventually I would like that to be part of the routine.  So I'd like to start between 6 and 8pm and include a bath (every other day or so), a book, nursing, songs, and then bed.  Camille will likely be awake for awhile after our routine, because that seems to be her fussy time right now, but I still want the routine in place.  The problem with this newfangled plan is that Bill and I worked out a system wherein I go to bed between 7 and 9pm and sleep till he goes to bed at 11.  Another problem is that Camille still sleeps in our room and if I'm in there, it defeats the purpose of me going to bed for a few hours.  Tricky, yet I would say all cards point to me not going to bed for those few hours.

Next in my desire to control that which cannot be controlled, is to monitor her daytime sleep.  I think this would make life easier when she starts becoming alert enough to have naps, rather than just sleeping all day.  I'm just writing down when she sleeps and when she wakes up to see if there are any patterns.

I consider this more of a fact finding mission at this point.  As if I needed more reasons to stare at my beautiful baby all day!